1st things 1st: A huge thanks to all our troops and all those passed for defending our freedom.
The management trainee does not always live a great life, but at least he got to enjoy the national holiday. Unfortunatley down here in Tennessee the weather was rainy thus hendering aggressive drinking activities. Luckily I anticipated the inclement weather and decided to make the most of a sunday. I must say that yesterday was a great day in the neighborhood for alot of us that would normally spend sundays getting sad that monday is about to start. Below are two schedules. Schedule A=normal sunday. Schedule B=sunday prior to memorial day.
Schedule A:
-6:45 Am-Wake up naturally.
-6:46 Am- Quickly feel that hangover and go back to sleep
-12:00 Pm- Wake up for the day, start thinking about monday morning
-2:00 Pm- Eat unhealthy lunch to help the hangover
-2:30 Pm- Commence Tv/Facebook Marathon
-2:31 Pm- Get sad because there is not football
-3:00 Pm- Post ad on craigslist personals titled "lonely guy looking to get lucky this afternoon"
-3:15-4:00 Pm- Check gmail account for replies
-5:00 Pm- Force yourself to start laundry
-7:00 Pm- check gmail account and find no responses. Relieve thyself to overcome the loneliness.
-8:00 Pm-10:00pm- Beverly Hills Bordello/Facebook
-10:00 Pm- take sleeping pill
-10:00 Pm- Lay down and hope to fall asleep because you have to be up for work in 6 hours.
Schedule B:
-10:00 Am- Wake up naturally
-10:01 Am- Realize you did not go home w/ the girl you thought you did
-10:02 Am- Relieve thyself to overcome the loneliness
-10:12 Am- Constant water drinking to the point of vomitting.
-10:15 Am- Go back to sleep
-12:30 Pm- Breakfast provided by mom
-12:45 Pm ***this actually happened- Hear a knock on the back door of the kitchen. Answer the door to find your best friend in nothing but boxers.
-12:46 Pm- Best friend has to explain his whereabouts to you, younger brother, mom and dad that he got locked out of the house at 4:00am because he had to puke. Nobody would wake up to let him in so he slept in younger brothers car until this point.
-1:00 Pm- Send out mass-text to meet at parents house.
-1:30 Pm- Everyone comes over, go to beer store.
-1:31 Pm- Purchase 2 cases, one hotdog, one butterfinger, and one breakfast burrito.
-2:00 Pm-8:00pm- Drink in front yard of parents house.
-8:15pm- forced to eat dinner at Jack in the Box because every other place is closed because memorial day.
-8:30 Pm- Buddy gets kicked out of Jack in the Box- New Low
-9:00 Pm-Drive around trying to find place open with a bar
-9:15 Pm- Post ad on craigslist labeled "Come Strip for us and drink for free"
-10:00 Pm- Watch 5-6 midget wrestling videos
-10:05 Pm-02:30 Am- drink while watching cheaters marathon
I hope everyone out there ripped it up this weekend. Because today has been quite the party foul.
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