5th Year Senior- "Wake Up, Beautiful"

After a night of silent slumber, you awake to someone standing next to your bed, staring at you. Enough to make you shit your pants depending on who it is. This is a list of 10 celebrities that you would hate to wake up to:

Michael Jackson

Ahhhh! Sorry, this picture just gave me a minor heart attack at 23. From "The Jackson 5" to this, what the fuck? We all know the story of his downward spiral between changing races to "being friends" with adolescent boys. Take a minute to look at this picture. Then take another minute to image his face looking over you as you wake with his surgically implanted stubble.

EDIT: This was made before the death of Michael. Very sad and tragic, and would also make waking up to him even more creepy.

Paula Abdul

This loony tunes brawd is also pretty damn hot for being old. But anyone who has watched an episode of "American Idol" knows that she is batshit crazy. As you wake up, think about her face hovering above yours crying hysterically. Creepy.

Spencer Pratt

I am not a fan of "The Hills". Ok, maybe I've seen one episode. Fine, I watch it religiously but only to see Audrina. I hate the word douchebag, but that is about the only word that can describe this guy. I hate him. And so does America. People like this should not exist and to wake up to him would be the most saddening event imaginable.

New York

This super slut became famous first on "Flavor of Love" and then on her own spinoff, "I Love New York". Her loud ass antics and general ghetto demenor are extremely aggrivating. To wake up with this "sista" next to you could be a health risk. STDs can't be transmitted through air, unless you are New York. To steal a joke from The Roast of Larry The Cable Guy: "New York has had sex with so many black dudes, every time she gets a pap smear, 40 murders are solved".

Peewee Herman

Anyone that was born in the 80's can claim Peewee Herman as a childhood hero. That is until he exposed himself to an crowd in an adult bookstore. Just imagine that same scenario as you wake up...

Courtney Love

As the lead singer of "Hole", she is still more famous for being married to Kurt Cobain. How he put up with this lunatic is beyond me. I can picture it now. You wake up to stumbling at your bedroom door only to find this coked out mess standing over you drooling and mumbling her own chemically induced language.

Steven Hawking

I know I know, he is disabled...but god damn is he creepy. Just think about him wheeling up to your bedside and typing on his computer speaker: "G-O-O-D M-O-R-N-I-N-G".

Tom Cruise

It's a true shame what has happened to Tom. After starring in such early movies as "Top Gun" and "Cocktail", the sky was the limit. Then he found Scientology. Whether it be forcing poor Katie Holmes to have a silent birth or eating the placenta afterward, Tom Cruise has officially lost it. This encounter would be a more startling wake up. He would jump up and down on your bed, slam his fists into the ground, and proclaim his love for Holmes just like he did on Oprah. C'mon dude.


Gary Busey

Just one look at this wack job is enough to make you cry. He is probably the craziest individual on this list. After seeing his cameo in an episode of "Entourage", to wake up with him at your side would be extremely traumatic.


Ryan Seacrest

This guy is just plain creepy. I don't know what it is about him. He seems to be on every show on TV and comes off as a complete tool. Waking up with him standing over you is enough to make anyone want to punch a baby.