I Love My Girlfriend - "No + Hair = Nair"

No, I've never used Nair on my body for any reason whatsoever...this isn't about me.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the product, Nair is a cream that removes hair from whatever region you decide to put it on...

Well my friends, I'm here to tell you a story about my poor aunt Sue.

My dear aunt Sue is a very sweet and loving lady that happens to be a little more than overweight. She is large enough for my mom to refer to her as "Sue-Mo", like a Sumo Wrestler. Well it just so happens that not too long ago that my dear aunt Sue-Mo was using the Nair product. She had already applied the cream to her legs when the phone rang...despite a strict disclaimer, she forgot all about the Nair on her legs and proceeded with the phone conversation. When she finally realized she left the Nair on her legs it was too late...she couldn't feel them. Her legs are functional, but just no feeling. After a few days passed she still couldn't feel her legs. She described the feeling as if when your leg "falls asleep" but never "wake up". Well presently, she has managed to break her ankle and mess up her knees because she couldn't walk correctly due to the loss of feeling in her legs. The doctors don't know what to do and she could be like this for the rest of her life...

Wow, sorry for the depressing story...

Moral of the story: Don't get huge and just use a razor.