Introducing: The "Shmedium"

In bars across America, a terrifying trend has become developing. It breeds on the screens of UFC fights, and migrates to every town in America. It has become such a staple that Affliction and Ed Hardy have made millions off of its migration. It's filled with too much testosterone. And it has become a disease on the world that needs to be addressed.


It's the Shmedium (sh-medium, n., Jersey descent).

The thing above is a prime example. His Armani Exchange shirt has purposely been left in the running dryer for what seems like 2 months. It is so small that it fails to cover up his weird ass bird tattoo on his 'roided arm. He has some sort of dog tag around his neck to symbolize the death of his respectability, and the girl he has in a choke hold is hoping death comes quickly. She's throwing the peace sign not as a symbol of her agreement with nuclear disarmament, but as in "I'm peacing out, this asshole just crushed my windpipe".

The Shmedium, to put it frankly, is a shirt that's just too fucking small. It's normally a graphic t-shirt with an obnoxious amount of words on it, and some sort of gothic, graveyard-like design on the front. It's worn by fat guys who think that going to the gym once every 2 months makes them big/strong/worthy of putting on a smaller shirt, and by guys who directly-inject protein into their veins (see above). They are easily spotted, as they travel in packs. In addition, there is a hierarchy to the Shmediums. The Alpha Shmedium tends to grunt a lot, and normally is so big he can't wipe his own ass (enter the Comfort Wipe). The Shmedium Minions follow aimlessly and laugh at Alpha Shmedium's jokes, hopelessly wishing they can one day by like Alpha Shmedium.

Don't confuse Shmediums with Guidos though. A Shmedium is a trend, a Guido is a disease that plagues the world.

Be on the lookout for this terrifying trend. Friends don't let friends be/wear/associate with shmediums.