Unreal...that's the first word that comes to my mind after my visit to Chuck E. Cheese's yesterday. I went with my mom and two little cousins ages 8 and 6 for their birthday. It had been F-O-R-E-V-E-R since I had last been there and wow, have things changed! What once was so awesome as a kid is now a living nightmare.I'll admit, I was pretty pumped when we pulled into the parking lot. I had my cousins shaking in excitement for the ensuing entertainment. We got inside after the 16 year old and zit-faced "bouncer" stamped our hands and lifted the red velvet rope. In no less than 5 seconds my cousins were lost amongst the rest of the running and screaming gremlins. No worries though, we knew they'd come back and find us...they had no tokens. My mom went to the counter to purchase one of their 'combo packs' that included a pizza, drinks, and tokens. I casually asked the miserable looking "bouncer" if it was happy hour yet. I guess he didn't get the joke as he replied, "Every hour is a happy hour here at Chuck E. Cheese's!"
My mom and I set up base at one of the tables in the most quiet part of the building...which didn't really exist. A quick look around of the place gave me a pretty good laugh. Parents sitting at other tables looked on the verge of suicide. As soon as I got the tokens, my cousins reappeared. They were already sweating and had about 50 tickets in their hands somehow. Either way, I fearlessly lead them into the mayhem.
Just try to imagine this. At least 100 kids with no parents buzzing around your knees as you attempt to walk. These kids are sweating profusely and running around with pizza and sodas in their hands while screaming like a banshee. I'm talking about crazed kids leaving their sweat and grease stains on everything they touch like a slug. It's hard to think because of the high-pitched squealing. These little terrors are crashing into my legs, falling over slightly stunned from the impact, and then back on their feet like nothing happened. It was quite a scene.
There was one point at Chuck E Cheese's where I realized what the place really was...a casino for kids. There were games that resembled actual casino games that you played to win tickets. I could already tell which of my cousins was going to be the gambling addict. I'd give him two tokens at a time and he would be back in 30 seconds for more and only 2 tickets to show for it. I made him take a lap in the "sky tubes" to slow down his token intake.
The highlight of the experience was one dad would had the right idea on how to enjoy himself at Chuck E. Cheese's. Luckily, the joint sells beer to miserable parents. This one dad who looked extremely miserable when I had just walked in was having the time of his life when we were getting ready to leave. He fit right in with the kids after a while of boozing pretty hardcore. From showing his kids how to cheat in skee ball to playing in the ball pit, the man was in his element. Needless to say, his wife was pretty upset with him when they were asked to leave. But wow, what a pioneer and idol for all to witness.
All in all, not too bad of a day at ole Chuck E. Cheese's. That damn rat/koala/mouse/whatever the hell it is sure does know how to entertain the little gremlins.
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