Management Trainee-"Water Cooler Convo's"

You're thirsty. However you are not thirsty for water, you're thirsty to talk shit with a fellow co-worker. I have noticed a trend since working in a corporate setting; the water cooler hears more trash talk than anyone else in the office. You're probably thinking, "No that's not true, I just go over there and drink 1 or 100 cups of water 3-4 times a day." Think about your topic of conversation with fellow co-workers. It probably starts off, "Yeah so you're kid is in school...okay...yeah...my weekend was fun...." Eventually it turns into, "So did you hear Frank is cheating on his wife?...I know what a scumbag!....Hey, you didn't hear it from me!....Oh I would def f*** Frank's wife."

A prime example was THIS MORNING at MY office. A referral came by and dropped off doughnuts for everybody (which was huge...) and the doughnuts were centered around the water cooler. As soon as one of my co-workers walked away we started talking about her. It was not anything to intense. The conversation centered around how we would do ridiculous things to her if she wasn't engaged to some douche twice her age.

The water cooler is also A GREAT WAY to spit game at a co-worker you're interested in. You could start by getting her a cup of water and using some cheesy pick-up like, "Can I plug my Firewire into your USB?" or maybe, "Do you come here often?" You will either look like a complete loser (prob. if you use the USB reference) or you will come off with some charm.

I challenge you to start paying attention to your water cooler conversation material. A quick hint of advice: Don't walk away from the water cooler with others still talking....they will probably switch conversation to you.

Great ways to become a water cooler badass:

-Talk about other people

-Invite people to the water cooler with you (that way when you come into the break room you have a posse). Make sure you are better than the people you invite along.

-Bring your own cup for water (some cup that has your favorite sports team on it or some phrase like, "Don't hassle me I'm local")

-Drop a business card at a girl's desk that says, "Me, you, water cooler 2:30pm- Be there."

It's all about taking care of business