I Love My Girlfriend - "I Wipe My Own Ass!"

I shit you not, I just saw this infomercial on TV.



There are so many things wrong with this...I don't know where to start.

My Observations:
-Americans are running out of invention ideas
-However, we have a stick that you can wipe your ass with now!
-For over 100 years we've been using toilet paper, what did we use before???
-This is the FIRST improvement to toilet paper since the 1880's!!! Hooray!!!
-Noticed how "easily" the T.P. drops off the stick...with a slightly violent shake.
-(T.P. = Archaic) VS (Stick + T.P. = Modern Solution?!)
-The "big guy" can't reach his asshole to wipe...super!
-Older lady(seems in perfect health) can't wipe her own ass without a T.P. stick?
-Shits will now take an additional 20 minutes to load and unload the Shit Stick.

In Conclusion:
Sadly enough, these "inventors" are probably on a fucking beach in paradise sipping on a Pina Colada laughing at how they got rich off a fucking stick to wipe the shit off your ass with. Unfortunately, this bullshit will probably be the next big hit of a gag gift or over-the-hill present on the market. I'm not wishing I invented the Shit Stick, just that I was on the fucking beach with drink in hand. FML