I Love My Girlfriend - "Outrage at Fazoli's"

I may be a little behind on my recent discovery…but what the hell happened to the breadstick lady at Fazoli’s?!? This latest economic injustice has seriously hit a nerve somewhere around my stomach region. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure to know what a Fazoli’s is then you are an unfortunate and unsatisfied individual. To get to the point, it’s an Italian fast-food joint where every meal is accompanied with breadsticks that are always piping-hot with a perfect balance of butter and garlic. What makes this place even worth a damn to dine at is because of these f-ing cracklicious breadsticks. Not only were these breadsticks free and unlimited to the customers that dine-in, but they were served straight to your table by the sweetest lady known to man; the Fazoli’s breadstick lady.

I’ve been to my fair share of different Fazoli’s establishments and while the layout of the restaurant may have changed there was always one thing that was steadfast; the breadstick lady. The kindest, sweetest grandmother-like lady would always patrol the tables of Fazoli’s with an abundance of fresh breadsticks to serve to the salivating patron. There was no shame in asking the breadstick lady for eight breadsticks while you already had three on your plate. The breadstick lady would never judge you and your breadstick intake. Sometimes she would even throw in an extra breadstick and a wink to go along.

Well, my friends, happy days are no longer here. The economic downturn has claimed the innocent and loving Fazoli’s breadstick lady. Now, you have to walk your happy ass all the way to the fucking counter to ask a fucking balding manager with his tie a good foot away from reaching his belt for the same breadsticks that were once served directly to my table. To be honest, I’m far too lazy to interrupt my lasagna meal to take the breadstick walk of shame and that’s what it boils down to.

I want my sweet breadstick lady back and I’d even be willing to throw her a tip here and there just so she can keep her job instead of staying home crying and knitting her unemployment sorrows away.